


What A Nice Suggestion

by prouvairism



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a Tumblr Post, Domestic Fluff, First Meetings, Fluff, Gardens & Gardening, Modern Era, One Shot, Other, Plants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:31:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairism/pseuds/prouvairism
Summary: Montparnasse found something unpleasant in his tomatoes, but the unfortunate surprise led him to meet someone very interesting.Based on a Tumblr post.





	What A Nice Suggestion

**Author's Note:**

> This short story was based on this post by robotmango on Tumblr:
> 
> "me, crouched down in front of my tomato plants, examining a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves: i’m going to fucking kill whoever did this. i’m going to kill them for you. don’t worry, babies. I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. they’ll die screaming-  
> my neighbor, who i did not realize was also outside, standing behind the fence: oh! okay. you’re talking to the plants. okay."
> 
> I dedicate this to capital--r, who asked for a Jehanparnasse AU based on this.
> 
> WARNING: description of wasps life cycle and mentions of insects, it's just one little paragraph (the story is pretty short), but if you're sensitive to this subject or you have a phobia, be careful, ok?

**What A Nice Suggestion**

**by wingsandscales**

**\---**

 

Montparnasse was quite proud of two things: his sense of fashion resulting in his impeccable taste for clothing and his vegetable garden. Someone with such a handsome and charming face needed a nutritious diet and nature provided the best beauty products.  
  
His favorites were his tomatoes and some spices. The house wasn’t bad either, he could get used to that place. The young man was finally having a quieter, more comfortable life. Only the heavens knew how much he struggled to get there.  
  
On that sunny morning, Montparnasse decided he would like to eat some delicious spaghetti with the tomato sauce; it had been some time since he had eaten something like that and was tired of green salads and grilled meats.  
  
Of course, with a home garden he didn’t bother to buy ready-made sauces in a supermarket. Natural would always taste better. He took his pruning shears, walking to the fenced garden and bending down to pick some fresh tomatoes, facing the worst possible thing: a pattern of insect bites on their lower leaves.

It had made him furious, he'd had a lot of work to put together that space to grow those plants, all the care they needed, and now tiny little monsters were getting fed up with the leaves? Oh, but he wouldn’t tolerate it, not at all.

“I can’t believe this! I’m going to fucking kill whoever did this! I’m going to kill them for you. Don’t worry, babies... I’m going to murder every single son of a bitch who ever got a mouthful of you. They’ll die screaming and-“

Because of his distraction, he didn’t notice someone watching him, his neighbor propped up on the fence of the next house.

“Oh, okay. You’re talking to the plants, okay, then. For a moment I thought a crime would happen here.”

Montparnasse was still a little annoyed as he turned to face the one who was interrupting his moment of frustration, encountering the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life.

Right, calling his neighbor "person" didn’t do them justice. They ought to be a beautiful woodland creature, with that light-blue loose shirt and copper-colored hair full of braids and their face full of tiny freckles that left them looking like a sweet creature drawn from some fairy tale.

He was suddenly aware of his nervous cries and that the red-haired creature had witnessed this, how humiliating.

"I'm sorry; I didn’t see you there."

"You look like you're having a problem with the caterpillars, right?"

"Yes, this has never happened to me before, but I'm no botanist either."

“From what I see, you’re dealing with the tomato hornworm, a caterpillar that one day will turn into the five-spotted hawkmoth.” they explained, in a voice tone that made Montparnasse think of one of those nature documentary narrators.

“Would you know how I do it to get rid of them?”

“Pick them and place them somewhere else. And you should plant marigolds, they repel the species near their tomato plants to reduce predation.

“Pick them?” he laughed. “I was thinking about _killing_ them.”

“I'm not much of a fan of killing animals without need…” they started, but Montparnasse rolled his eyes in disbelief. “But… If it's a solution that pleases you more, you'll love to know about the wasps of the Braconidae family. A wasp chooses a caterpillar, subtly drops dozens of eggs under its skin, and as soon as these eggs hatch inside the caterpillar, the wasp larvae begin to eat its musculature and viscera, keeping the vital organs safe so that the host doesn’t die quickly , ending the cycle itself. These larvae develop inside the caterpillar and, as adults, will pierce its skin again and create on the surface several cocoons, to remain there for another period. When they leave the cocoon, the caterpillar dies soon and the wasps go around. It’s a cruel cycle indeed, but it’s part of nature and could also save your tomatoes.”

He listened intently, impressed by his neighbor's knowledge of the subject. They didn't speak as if it were something repugnant or morbid, but as necessary and inevitable.

"Wow, I... I'd never think about that. My instinct would be looking for a pesticide or something. Thank you for the suggestions."

"If you want some plants that help repel insects in vegetable gardens, I can help you with that. I have a lot of them in my house and I know people who can get the seedlings you want."

"It would be great." Montparnasse stood up, approaching a little from the fence. "Besides your intelligence and beauty, do you have a name too?"

It was a little impertinence, flirting with someone unknown who had just helped him, but he couldn’t help it. He was delighted.

“I’m Jehan Prouvaire. Nice to meet you.”

"I'm Montparnasse, and before I think again about solutions to my tomatoes, I'll prepare some lunch, which would be a lot better with your company, sweet neighbor."

Jehan's face turned rosy and a shy smile formed on their lips, making them even more adorable.

“I agree with you. Get ready so from now on you’ll have more than caterpillars coming to your house.”

"Get ready because I think I'm going to like it." he said, going to the gate to invite Jehan in.

**\---**

**The End.**


End file.
